On Light

     I find myself inexorably drawn to Light in it's myriad forms. On a deceptively mundane level, I can't help but collect flashlights. I have flashlights as varied as a medium sized utility fills your hand like a small piece of firewood flashlight, to tiny keychain light that requires only one tiny battery, to a spotlight on a compressor contraption that charges off the wall. I can put on my hat with the built-in LED's in the brim to search for one of the many free Harbor Freight 9 LED hand-sized flashlights I've collected. Somewhere I have a couple Maglights I used to carry on my belt with the included sheath that always falls apart after a year (sad, I know). Yesterday I was given a gift of a sleek looking black flashlight with a belt clip built in, which I adore.
     I don't know if it's the light itself that attracts me, or the things it allows to happen. Everything you see is Light. Each color you see is a different vibrating, quivering portion of a band of light. Pigments simply capture that portion, or spit it back at you. Growing up in my dad's Vacuum Deposition Lab, where he and his partners pioneered Dichroic Glass, I thought it was such a perfect melding of science and magic to be able to separate the light spectrum like that, and to actually see the colors that light is made up of. Did you know that in the glare of a full spectrum light bulb you may have screwed into your fan-light is pure encompassing Cyan? Or a Gold that will stop your heart? Or a Magenta that can enchant you? Or any other color you could imagine because they are all wavelengths vibrating at different speeds hidden in that ray of light?
    On a philosophical level,possibly a psychological one(if they are in fact two different things) you could say that I crave the ability to shed light on a subject. I want to have within my reach the light required to cause things to take their shape. Without light everything is just lumps in the dark. Light breeds understanding. (it goes without saying that darkness is equally important to the whole in ways I'm sure you've ruminated about about, and which we won't go into in this discussion of light, as that's a whole other subject we could talk about at length...) When I have my flashlight on my belt, no corner I encounter will remain dark and unknown to me.
       At this particular time of the year, my thoughts run to the symbology of having light available in the darkest portion of the cycle of the seasons. It is not only a tool, but an assurance that Light exists, and a quietly whispered promise of the Sun's return...

The Wind in the Trees

The East Wind raged
last night.
Angry that the leaves still clung to the trees.
I watched the gusts
whip the upraised branches,
almost to the ground they emerged from,
it's impatience evident.

Today there is no brown earth beneath them,
only shades of gold.
The Alders stand,
branches like bare bones
swaying in the bitter breeze.
Soon the snows will ride in on the
cold East Wind,
bringing Winter down from the mountain.

And under Death's mantle
the remnants of summer will decay,
biding it's time,
to emerge once more as verdant tips on white branches,
swaying in the warm breath
of some tomorrow.

paint joy over the pain

finally painted this morning. it's been a couple years since i did. maybe when i was in wyoming for that spring...keep thinking, "i need to set this space up, and then i can paint." or "after i do this other crap i need to do, i can paint."

reality is i just have trouble starting. i don't know if it's fear of failure, fear of success, or just plain having trouble manifesting my life outside my head. most likely it's all that and more.

but this morning i'm feeling all the sadness descend, and it was the most readily available creative outlet available, so i dove in. amidst the mess of the living room that i'm supposed to clean, but rarely happens, i pulled out the starter set my fiance so thoughtfully bought for me and used the minimal palette to create an underpainting for what will be my first painting in years, and will hopefully open up the blocked creative juices that have my mind whirling, but my hand raised frozen in uncertainty of where to start...

paint is a great laxative. do not take internally.

Stream of Thought while making Verdant Series Bowls

       I find myself drawn to creating series of pieces. As I get older I guess I'm more interested in exploring the relationships between two things. I guess the third decade of my life has me looking at colors more and more.
       I feel like putting two colors together and seeing how they get along...will they harmonise and create a sense of calm? Will they fight and show each others' strength through adversity? Will they be surprised at how well they do get along once they get to know each other?
       Also, making my own real-time documentary is fascinating.
       "In this series of vases, we are following this particular shade of green as it interacts with the other colors. Which does it gravitate toward as it strives to define itself, and make meaningful connections in the process? Being neither Dark Green nor Grass Green it seems unsure of itself set up against 'pure' colors of Cobalt, Topaz, and Violet Blue. After an awkward period of exploration, it eventually finds that its unique qualities that defy classification are exactly what makes it so particularly stunning.

       Finally this color has come into it's own. And it's unashamed vibrancy imparts a refreshing energy to the soul..."